“MY SEARCH IN PHILOSOPHY”
A REFLECION BASED ON MY SEARCH FOR THE EXISTENCE OF GOD
The Psalm 8: 3-4, in the Holy Bible, says……
“When I look at the heavens,
The works of your fingers,
The moon and the stars you created,
What are human beings,
That you are mindful of them;
Mortals that you care for them? “
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However,
six years have passed by, today, as a scholastic in the Society of Jesus, the
very same perennial question mark of the psalmist has begun to appear even
bigger and larger on my face. So I question; ‘Does God really care for me?’
‘Does God really care for the world he created?’ ‘If yes, then why is this
suffering all around, along the street I travel, in my ministry place, and in
the vicinity of my stay, state, country; and different forms of it-killing,
hunger, corruption, environment crisis, so on and so forth?’
It is
not that these questions did not exist six years ago when I was my grandmother
before entering the Society. Perhaps, only the degree and intensity of them
occurring are higher than then, today. Then, why is this transition of
perception within me?
The
possible answer I find to console me of this dichotomy of perception over the
half a dozen years is that, my faith has grown from simple to rational. All the
more, today, as a scholastic and a philosopher (not to say I am a Scholastic
Philosopher, rather scholastic in Philosophy), I find myself in a stage of
formation where ideas of Aristotle hitting at he in every dimensions possible –
dimension of God, world, man, and being as being, just to mention a few. It
seems Aristotle himself had grappled with the same questions which I fight
today. Does God really care for the world He created, the
human beings He bestowed reign upon?
For
Aristotle, God is pure act, and He exists of necessity. He cannot “Not Be”.
Moreover, since the contemplation is the best act of all acts, the Perfect One
engages in incessant thinking, and His thinking is thinking on thinking. The
thought He thinks of is He Himself, because, the perfect one cannot think of
anything less perfect, since one thinks of something, only when he/she lacks
that object (living, non-living, thoughts, or spiritual) of contemplation, or
lack the perfection of it. Thus, by principle, God can’t think of anything
other than Himself, because, He would then engage in thinking of imperfect
things as if He already lacks them, or is in need of fulfillment of it. Thus,
Aristotle’s God is someone who is wrapped up in Himself, and thus the former
names the latter as “Thought Thinking Thought.” Now, can such a “Thought
Thinking Thought” would care to think of imperfect and corporeal world of ours,
mortal beings like us, and our suffering? Oops! My poor grandmom! How I wish
she knew these facts! Had she read at least this much of Aristotle, she would
not have been tempted to be ignorantly convinced of a selfish god with this
blissful hope of hers that He really cares for her.
Thus, the psalmist’s question which is now is mine as well,
“What
are human beings,
That
you are mindful of them;
Mortals
that you care for them? “
begins to appear ever more deeper, bigger, as well as substantially worth
exploring an answer, not only for the gratification of one’s spiritual quench,
but also for the consolation of one’s perspective towards life and all that it
entails; joy and suffering, good and evil, dream and reality, faith and reason,
etc.
Thus,
this God of Aristotle, “The God of Philosophers,” is going to be my perennial
search, in loving to seek and search wisdom in a path many travelled, yet few
found. He is the God who seem to be giving me not go-ahead approval, or
ready-made answers, but one who questions the existing path, means, aim, and
comfort of my journey, the life, and my vocation (the journey within the
journey) as a Jesuit.
Thus,
who is this god to me right now? As of now, this God of my Grandmother, and
that of Aristotle is both “My ANSWER and My QUESTION” as well.
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